Trump cancels Modi meeting citing DEI
but then gets hired as a Bollywood dancer
President Trump canceled his meeting with Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi as part of his administration’s move away from DEI.
“Under my administration we are abandoning the racist DEI policies promoted by Sleepy Joe Biden and the fascist Democrats.
Therefore I will not be meeting with leaders of any countries that were created by DEI policies like India, China or South Africa until those countries abandon their DEI wokery and return their country to their rightful owners.
Before DEI racism took over, these countries were ruled by the white right people. Look at the Indian flag - it places orange above white, so racist.”
Since he was already in Washington when Trump made this announcement, Narendra Modi scrambled to turn the situation around so that he could keep his meeting with Trump.
He turned to Shadow President Elon Musk:
Two hours later, Narendra Modi was seen in White House grounds wearing crude disguise and hidden among catering staff by Elon Musk.
As Trump pressed a red button under the Resolute Desk to summon his hourly Diet Coke, Musk knew it was the time for NaMo to enter the Oval Office.
The Indian Prime Minister strode in, removed his mask, handed Donald his Diet Coke and said “Donald-ji, there has been a very big misunderstanding. We have so much in common: populist politics, a contempt for migrants, and feelings for Ivanka”
Trump nodded in agreement.
“I also hate DEI. Which is why I insisted my beard be white in color”
“Very nice. It’s a beautiful beard NaMo. Very similar to the guy who runs White House tech support” said Trump
“India is not a DEI country sir. We are the original Aryans" adds Modi.
Trump breaks out into a big smile.
“You see India also abhors DEI. The orange in our flag was created in your honor and you’ll notice that the white band in our flag is the central - i.e. the most important - piece”
Trump took a moment to take in this novel form of flattery. He then said “you have orange in your flag in my honor?”. Modi nodded eagerly.
Trump then asked “you’ve done this for how long?”
“Since the Republic of India was created in 1947 sir” Modi proudly stated.
“Well then you owe me a lot of money in royalties NaMo. That orange in your flag is clearly Donald Orange. India owes me some big bucks.”
“No problem sir, Mukesh-ji will be happy to pay” said Modi sheepishly.
“I want payment in cash and people” said Trump loudly.
“How does that work sir-ji?” asked Modi
“I want $10 million dollars per year from 1947 to 2025 and 1,000 Indians deported for every year from 1947 to 2025” announced Trump
“No problem sir. But you must also pay your royalties to India” remarked Modi
“For what?!” exclaimed Trump
“You must admit - your obsession with skin color, gold and negotiation make you Indian!”
“Touché NaMo. I guess we’re even”
“Hey Narendra” piped up Elon. “Since you love explaining the meaning behind the colors of the Indian flag, what’s the green supposed to represent?”
“Green represents all the people who are jealous of Donald Trump’s orange being on top and white being in the center” replied Modi
“Wow - that sounds pretty inclusive” noted Musk
“And that is why we are removing green from our flag” responded Modi quickly
“So let’s talk trade NaMo. What do you have for me besides software engineers?" We already have too many of those” remarked Trump
“Sir - I can offer you something that no other world leader can” proclaimed Modi
“What’s that?” asked Trump
“Donald-ji your sublime dancing skills have been noticed in India - especially in Mumbai. Nobody else can dance to YMCA like you can”
“So on behalf of Karan Johar, I would like to offer you a role as a Bollywood dancer” announced Modi excitedly
“Wow - Bollywood! Many people have said I’m the best Bollywood dancer” claimed Trump. “What will be dancing to?” he went on to enquire
“We will be dancing to the Bollywood remake of YMCA of course. It has been re-written to be about deporting migrants.”
“And importing Afrikaaners” added Musk
Modi then passed along the lyrics to Trump as Elon Musk starts playing the instrumental to YMCA on his iPhone:
Trump:
Latinos, camps are in vogue, I said
Latinos, time for you all to go, I said
Latinos, deportations gonna grow
Stephen Miller is so very happy
Modi:
Muslims, there's a place you can go, I said
Muslims, because you’re forever our foe, you can
Stay there and I'm sure you won’t get bored
Because you’re all heading straight to Lahore
Both:
It's fun to deport from the great U S A
It's fun to deport from IN D I A
We have all the things we need to build a great wall
Suck it China because ours will be more tall
It's fun to deport from the great U S A
It's fun to deport from IN D I A
This is how we ethnically clean, DEI has gone for real
We can do whatever we feel
Musk:
Afrikaaners, are you listening to me? I said
Afrikaaners, you can be refugees! I said
Afrikaaners, you can unleash your racism here
But you've got to know this one thing
Come get some American wealth, I said
Afrikaaners, do it by force or by stealth
And just come here, to the great U S A
Elon is here to help you today
All:
It's fun to deport from the great U S A
It's fun to deport from IN D I A
We have all the things we need to build a great wall
Suck it China because ours will be more tall
It's fun to deport from the great U S A
It's fun to deport from IN D I A
This is how we ethnically clean, DEI has gone for real
We can do whatever we feel
3 things to look for next week
Trump slaps tariffs on New Jersey
DOGE cancels The Rock’s new movie as its a waste of time
Banana Republic sues the United States alleging copyright infringement
Is this supposed to be comedy? Don’t quit your day job.